Making lemonade and dancing on Wall Street

The doctor discusses what to do with those embarrassing election headlines, how to get Wall Street to take newspapers seriously and convergence queasiness

Dr. Ink offers advice, serious and humorous, to editors on a full range of problems and issues, journalistic and managerial. Questions may be real or hypothetical, and may be rephrased to protect personal or institutional privacy. Send them to Ask Dr. Ink, ASNE, 11690B Sunrise Valley Drive, Reston, VA 20191.

Dear Dr. Ink: Our paper jumped the gun and printed thousands of papers announcing “Bush Wins” on Nov. 8. My publisher wanted all of them destroyed, but I think we should make lemonade out of those lemons and sell them for nostalgia items or donate them for charity auction novelties. He says that would be more bad P.R. What do you think?

Answer: One of Dr. Ink’s favorite newspapers, the St. Petersburg Times, published four headlines on election night: 1) Photo Finish; 2) Florida Finish; 3) Bush Wins; 4) Recount. Only a crank would criticize the paper for “jumping the gun.” After all, Gore did call Bush to concede even if he later said, “Never mind” — which made Bush get “snippy.”

Dr. Ink endorses your plan over that of your sniveling publisher. It would have worked better, of course, if Gore had won, another “Dewey Defeats Truman.” Your “Bush Wins” turns out to be, not a gaffe, but only a premature articulation.

Dear Dr. Ink: Why is it that the profit numbers of many newspapers are really good, but Wall Street won’t dance with us. What can we do?

Answer: When Dr. Ink was in high school, he used to attend sock hops. He remembers, with some pain, the times he asked a girl to dance only to be rejected or ridiculed. In retrospect, Dr. Ink recognizes that he was complicit in his own humiliation. His approaches to young ladies were so hesitant, so self-deprecating, so obsequious, no girl in her right mind would want to boogie with him. Now, Dr. Ink is a babe magnet.

The difference is confidence. The story journalists are telling each other is full of self-doubt. Like the patient on the psychiatrist’s table, that story is keeping us sick. We need a new story, or at least a renewed story about the glories of journalism. If we tell it well enough, we’ll fill out our dance card. So get off the couch. The doctor has spoken.

Dear Dr. Ink: We argue all the time about printing letters that expose a narrow-minded view of the world about gays or minorities or religious groups. My letters editor says that we have an obligation to print many kinds of views. I say we are giving credence to bigoted points of view by printing them, which gives the ideas some legitimacy in the eyes of readers. What do you think?

Answer: This important question is not limited to the letters page. Many college newspapers have struggled with the decision of whether or not to run ads from Holocaust deniers. Should we quote such people in news stories? In most cases, Dr. Ink is inclined to fight offensive speech with more speech — rather than with censorship.

But not all forms of speech are worthy of publication. Dr. Ink has received his share of unsigned letters written in blue crayon on yellow paper with lots of underlining and multiple exclamation points!!!! Not to mention the mysterious stains on the envelope. First Amendment rights come with responsibilities, not just for the journalists, but for all writers.

Just for fun, when you get a really bigoted letter, send it back with this message: “Dear John Smith: As you can see from the attached letter, some narrow-minded moron must have stolen your stationery and is forging your signature.”

Dear Dr. Ink: I am starting to get more complaints from reader/viewers about the objectivity of reporters who show up in the TV newscasts giving their “analysis” of the news. “Convergence” is turning reporters into spinners and pundits. Why do I feel so uncomfortable?

Answer: Dr. Ink shares your concern. Important borders are being erased: between news and entertainment, between news and promotion, between news and analysis, between newspapers, online, and broadcast. On MSNBC it’s hard to tell if the person on the screen is host, anchor, reporter, commentator, celebrity, legal expert or fashion model.

Dr. Ink sees no problem with a reporter answering questions as a reporter. But watch out for these warning signs: 1) The reporter wants a makeover. 2) The reporter starts talking about his agent, and refers to himself as “the talent.” 3) The reporter keeps repeating, “Back to you, Tom.” Especially if your name isn’t Tom.