Rooting out a weak element from stories

‘It is’ a sentence structure, used by clumsy writers, absent sound and fury, signifying nothing.

By Kevin McGrath

It is a weakness that plagues writers everywhere. It is a bad habit that sends readers looking for another story to read or, worse, to the television to watch “Andy Griffith” reruns.

Yet it is a problem that is easily solved.

What is “it?” And why am I not telling you yet? So that you’ll feel like a newspaper reader.

Feeling a bit aggravated? Confused? You should. Readers can feel the same way when they encounter a sentence that begins with “it is ... that” or any of its variants. They’re not sure why, perhaps, but they can’t quite figure out what their newspaper is saying at such moments.

Pardon my harping. I seldom go off on a single writing problem in this manner. But this one deserves its own treatment because it so often pervades newspaper and wire copy.

We shouldn’t be surprised. This weak structure is a product of the way we think and speak, and it creeps naturally into a draft. In this piece, for example, I had to weed out three examples of it from my first draft.

But as you can tell from my opening, it muddles your meaning.

Here’s the problem: The “It is ... that” structure imposes an artificial and vague subject — a pronoun — and a weak, artificial verb — to be — on a sentence. The true subject and verb — the core of the sentence’s real meaning — are shunted off to the subordinate “that” clause.

So the reader, who’s busy and easily distracted, has to work at staying with you while you walk into the room backwards, mumbling. And there’s the danger. As readers, we’re all impatient. Even Barney Fife once told a listener, “I don’t chew my cabbage twice.” His folksy expression reflects our natural desire to speak and be heard plainly, the first time.

So maybe you’re one of those writers who just can’t help using this sorry construction. That’s OK, as long as you limit it to your initial draft. But you have to keep a keen eye out for it when you revise.

In other words, a little self-editing will cure your ills. You simply need to hunt down such fuzzy words and phrases and whip them into subject-verb sentences that have a chance to stand up and dance.

Self-editing certainly would have weeded out the following. Take a look at the weak original and compare it to the revised version, and you’ll see how the writers missed an opportunity for a touch of clarity.

Original: It was Gerber’s own experiences with the homeless and hungry that prompted him to look into the possibility of starting a diner. He frequently talks with homeless people as he walks in downtown Wichita.

Revision: Gerber looked into starting a diner because of what he saw and heard from the homeless during his regular walks in downtown Wichita.

Original: It’s that kind of training that Speers is thankful for now that she and Reynolds have been on the road for three weeks.

Revision: Speers is thankful for such training now that she and Reynolds have been on the road for three weeks.

Original: It was a dunk that meant nothing to the outcome, but it came on one of Southeast’s 13 fast-break baskets.

And it was on of those transition points that helped Southeast to an 85-71 victory over Wichita East.

Revision: The dunk meant nothing to the outcome, but it came on one of Southeast’s 13 fast-break baskets. They helped Southeast to an 85-71 victory over Wichita East.

Original: It’s a challenge XFL founder and wrestling impresario Vince McMahon can’t wait to tackle.

Revision: XFL founder and wrestling impresario Vince McMahon can’t wait to tackle the challenge.

Original: There are no other existing stores that have been selected for fuel pump sites, Gaschler said.

Revision: No other stores have been chosen as fuel pump sites, Gaschler said.

Original: Gibson said it is rare that a virus like this one makes its way into the district’s computers.

Revision: Such a virus rarely makes its way into the district’s computers, Gibson said.

As you can see, a simple change reaps big rewards for the reader. And it takes little time and effort.

Don’t feel bad if you write this way naturally. Just be sure not to shortchange yourself on self-editing. And be sure your revision radar is tuned to seek out “it is ... that” so you can expunge it from your story.

You’ll save yourself some mumbling. And you’ll help your readers keep reading.

McGrath is communities team leader and writing coach at The Wichita (Kan.) Eagle. He can be reached at kmcgrath@wichitaeagle.com