Last Updated: August 20, 1999
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Good writing
Ever wonder why some narrative news leads just lie on the page, while
others jump out and grab you?
Chances are, the failures come from good intentions paired with bad
aim. And occasionally from incomplete reporting.
It isn’t narrative’s fault. It’s a great vehicle for telling news, even
breaking news (as recent Pulitzer winners can attest). But when narrative
fails, it’s often because writers spend too much time clearing their throats.
If readers are going to follow an alternate story form, they need one
commodity: specific information that reveals the heart of the story. Without
it, they’ll turn the page in frustration.
If you’ve ever wondered how to pull it off, here’s a simple recipe.
First, what the writer needs:
-
Thorough reporting. There’s no substitute. If you don’t fill your notebook
with information at the scene, gleaned from numerous sources and points
of view, you can’t craft a good story. Shallow reporting makes for shallow
and unenlightening stories.
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Revealing detail. This is the stuff that comes from reporting with the
senses, that brings a person or scene to life: the whoosh of a rushing
wind, charred glass crackling underfoot at a fire; the burnt-popcorn smell
and green-black color of smoke.
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Specific detail. This is the stuff that comes through dogged digging and
observation — or from just keeping eyes and ears open. A Midwest crime
reporter, for example, once wrote of a shooting victim lying on a curb
beneath a holiday banner reading “Peace on Earth.” Another profiled a victim
who always stopped in the corner store for cigarettes — Marlboro Lights
in a box. Both stories were elevated by reporting for detail: What the
banner said, what kind of cigarettes the victim smoked.
Detail is vital because it creates pictures in the readers’ minds. If you
want to carry a breaking story with narrative, the challenge is make sure
those pictures embody the heart of the story.
To do this, you have to avoid what I call “mind candy” — stuff that
just sounds or feels good in your notebook, but doesn’t help the reader.
Witness this flabby opening from a writer who fell in love with her
notes (this actually made it into print):
Channon Crownover has a 10-month-old son, Corbin. His wife’s name
is Connie.
On Tuesday, the 23-year-old construction worker did what he had done
many times before. He got out of bed, ready to go out and earn a living
for his family. But instead, he ended up being buried alive.
What do having a wife and son and getting out of bed have to do with
being buried alive while working in a trench? Not a thing. This writer
reached too far — trying to contrast disaster with ordinary life — and
wound up misleading her readers.
Now let’s turn to the readers’ needs:
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Simplicity and clarity. The point of the story must be clearly and immediately
identifiable, regardless of the form.
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Focus. Make the story say one thing, from the first word. If you start
a story by describing the scenery, for example, the scenery had better
be the point of the story.
-
Quick delivery. The mind rejects long setups on breaking news stories,
because the reader expects to learn quickly. This means the writer has
perhaps three paragraphs to work with, regardless of what the headline
and subhead say.
-
Interest. The material — or people — you start with can’t be boring. See
the wife and child lead above.
The best way to deliver on all these needs in narrative form is to open
with a person living the story. As the voice of experience, they carry
authority with readers. As people, they provide empathy.
Here’s an example from The Wichita (Kan.) Eagle:
The Rev. Michael Chittum had just finished leading 18 children in
a chorus of “Praise Ye the Lord” Tuesday morning when a man knocked at
the door of Plymouth Congregational Church.
“Your roof’s on fire,” he told Chittum, who was helping with vacation
Bible school.
Chittum and his staff quickly herded the children out of the building
at First and Clifton and across the street to College Hill Elementary School.
For the next two hours, he watched as the 77-year-old church was
destroyed. Its Gothic limestone walls, a neighborhood landmark, were all
that was left of the sanctuary.
Notice the layering of detail: the number of children; the name of the
chorus; the church’s location; the name of the neighboring school; the
church’s age; its Gothic limestone walls. And of theme: the first graf
embodies the idea of church; the second embodies fire. Point — and scene
— delivered, neither at the expense of the other.
This sort of thing is easily done if the reporter gathers the needed
details at the scene. If you haven’t done the reporting, spare your readers
and write a straight tale. But if you have, give your readers a treat and
let them watch the news come to life on the page.
McGrath is special projects and enterprise editor at The Wichita
(Kan.) Eagle. He can be reached at kmcgrath@wichitaeagle.com,
or at 316/268-6680.
