Last Updated: May 29, 1999
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Good writing
Despite how they speak, careful writers should work
in the active voice; it specifies the actors in a sentence — good or bad
Surveys documenting threatened, endangered and sensitive species
for specific areas were either not performed or not documented. This occurred
because biologists were not aware that surveys were to be conducted or
lost their field survey notes. In one case, the survey was not done.
The public was advised that a maximum number of 10 trees per acre
would be cut but trees were later marked without regard for the limit.
In some places, 30 trees per acre were cut.
Why do your reporters write flabby sentences like those above? The passive
voice wrings all the juice of accusation out of them.
In the active voice, the subject of the sentence acts:
The chip-mill lumberjacks hacked down the trees.
In the passive voice, somebody acts upon the subject:
The trees were clear-cut.
A passive sentence may specify the actors (“by the lumberjacks”), but
usually doesn’t. Delete the actor from an action statement, and you lose
half the punch.
Of course, sometimes we use the passive voice because it says what we
want to emphasize, or fits our knowledge. Take this active-voice sentence:
Someone chopped down the child’s Christmas tree.
We don’t know the chopper, or we want to emphasize the victim, so we
type:
The child’s Christmas tree was chopped down.
Passives were written
Reporters often write that way because their sources write and talk
in the passive voice. The bureaucrat says, “Immediate corrective action
is needed to ensure that the interests of environmental, logging, and other
groups are safeguarded.” Who needs to take corrective action and safeguard
interests? The journalist needs actors in that sentence.
But bureaucrats, who make up the bulk of our sources, don’t necessarily
want the actor specified. They prefer the passive voice to blur the actors,
avoiding blame for themselves and their colleagues for acting or not acting.
As George Bush explained about Iran-Contra, “Mistakes were made.”
Reporters also write in the passive voice because their editors print
sentences in the passive voice. Count the active and passive sentences
in a couple of typical stories in your section. Surprised? Your reporters
gauge what’s acceptable by reading the paper, by reading what you print.
Sentences are easier to write and read in the passive voice because
the vast majority of English sentences are spoken in the passive voice.
Passive sentences sound more like conversation. Let’s recast that first
sentence in this paragraph into the active voice: “English speakers speak
mostly in the passive voice, so writers find composing passive sentences
easier.” See?
Harder to read too.
If readers find passive sentences easier to read, perhaps we should
write all our sentences that way. No, we shouldn’t, because the Founding
Fathers included us in the First Amendment to reveal the actors behind
the actions.
Coaching the active voice
Coaching editors can help their reporters write in the more vigorous,
more revealing active voice. First, we make sure our reporters understand
active versus passive and the resultant effects. (I defined them in the
fourth paragraph above, not assuming that even newspaper editors know the
difference.) Then we mark passive statements in their copy for them to
convert. If you take the usual shortcut and convert the sentences yourself,
your writers don’t learn how.
Sooner or later, your reporters will object to converting conversational
sentences into heavier prose. Now, you’re ready for stage two. You suggest
that they draft their sentences in the active voice in the first place.
Composing in the active voice takes half as long as conversion.
One more step toward real sophistication. Writers find active sentences
easier to write if they seek out the actors during reporting. Teach your
interviewers to notice when their subjects hide the actor by speaking passive
sentences. They learn to follow up: “And who did that?”
So you can edit in the active voice by teaching them to report in the
active voice.
Fry, an affiliate of the Poynter Institute, works as an independent
writing coach in Charlottesville, Va. Call him at 804/296-6830.
