These smooth-as-silk headlines and leads are uniformly good

Hey, kids! If you're looking for a reason to hit the books and behave in class, here are a few:
Neckties. Slacks. Jumpers. Skirts.

(By Brian Kladko, Asbury Park Press of Neptune, N.J., on a story about area schools that require their students to wear uniforms.)

Here's a nominee for the I-Wish-I-Would-Have-Come-Up-With-That Department, Headline Division:

Chinese Silk Is Turning Into a Sow's Ear

(By Mike Ruby, of the Wall Street Journal, on a story about silk overproduction.)

Zapped for his zinfidelity

(By Jean Brody, Danbury (Conn.) News-Times, reflecting a writer's criticism of a wine writer's preference for other wines over zinfandels.)

E=mc, but doesn't square

(By Chris Abby of the Medford (Ore.) Mail Tribune, on a report that the price of Einstein's handwritten theory of relativity quadrupled in value when sold at auction for $6 million.)

Splitting up is hard to do
Evolving area code plans have many on hold

(By Dianne Beirne, Houston Chronicle, on an article detailing the ripples created by the division of one metropolitan Houston's area code into two.

You, too, can find "Air Jordan" with nothing but 'Net

(By Dennis Hoffman, Indianapolis Star, on a technology Q&A column detailing where an Internet user might find photos of basketball great Michael Jordan.)

The Lord does work in mysterious waves
Ex-surfer set to enter priesthood

(By Mike Lonsford of the Houston Chronicle on a feature about the unusual career path of area surfer Ramon Echeverria.)

Good old home kuchen
A slice of old-time Cleveland, Haab's German Bakery has dished out tradition, bread and pastries for decades

(By Christine Miller, Cleveland Plain Dealer, establishing the flavor for a feature on a local business that was established in 1895.)

Also from Cleveland:

Skipping class
Competitive rope-jumping keeps things hopping for kids who aim at world-class honors

(By Pete Zicari, on a local feature about the Heartbeats, a school district's skipping team.)

Here's a lead inspiring a chilling thought:

"Remember that parking ticket that appeared under the windshield wiper three months ago? If city records are accurate, probably not."

(By Yvonne LaFave, writing in the Republican-American of Waterbury, Conn., opening a report sure to send some chills through local scofflaws.)

Forget those parking tickets at your peril. But don't risk missing the opportunity for professional recognition for your staff. Send me your paper's best headlines and leads. The more newspapers that contribute, the better this feature will be.

CORRECTION: Forty lashes with a pica pole are due yours truly. In the April-May issue I raved about a creative headline on a story about potholes. But I misspelled the last name of its creator, Hew Stith, of the Richmond (Va.) Times-Dispatch. My apologies.

Cooper is the executive editor of the Dubuque (Iowa) Telegraph Herald. Contact him at P.O. Box 688, Dubuque, IA 52004-0688 or bcooper@wcinet.com